Last Updated on January 12, 2026 by Michelle
Most habits are designed for short bursts of motivation.
They work for a season, maybe a year—but then life changes, energy shifts, and the habit quietly disappears. Not because we failed, but because the habit was never designed to last.
If you want lasting habits that stay with you for decades, they have to be built differently.
They have to be designed for a whole life, not a short-lived one at a moment in time.
Habits as a long-term relationship
We often treat habits like a challenge: something to complete, track, or optimize.
But habits are closer to a relationship.
They respond to pressure.
They break under rigidity.
They last when there’s trust.
Designing habits that endure means asking 2 different questions:
1. Can I live with this version of myself for the next 10, 20, 30 years?
2. Will I be happy with myself if I continue with these habits for the next 10, 20, 30 years?
If the answer to the first question is no, the habit won’t stay—no matter how disciplined you are. If the answer to the second question is no, you should stop the habits now and reallocate the time and energy into other habits that will give you the answer yes.
I have been layering habits since 2018, as of beginning of 2026, I have 37 habits that I am keeping up with. I am happy to say I am excited to see my future self in 30 years through my 37 habits.
This is why I am currently on a 18 hour flight and am writing this blog, have written some thoughts in my journal and have done my face and eye masks ◡̈
The connection between habits and well aging
We age in response to what we repeat. We change the way we age through our habits.
Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally.
Habits that demand constant self-control age us faster.
Habits that integrate naturally into life support well aging.
The goal isn’t intensity.
The goal is sustainability.
A habit that protects your energy, nervous system, and sense of self will still be there decades from now.
Design for yeoyu, not willpower
Yeoyu (여유) is inner spaciousness—the feeling that life has room in it.
Lasting habits designed with yeoyu:
- don’t rely on pressure
- don’t require perfect conditions
- don’t punish inconsistency
They fit into real life. They breathe.
If a habit makes your life feel tighter, more crowded, or more anxious, it’s already on borrowed time.
Ease is not the opposite of discipline.
Ease is what allows discipline to continue.
Principles for habits that last through decades
1. Build habits around identity, not outcomes
Outcome-based habits focus on results.
Identity-based habits focus on who you’re becoming.
Instead of:
“I need to work out five times a week.”
Try:
“I’m someone who prioritises my health.”
The second version ages better.
2. Design habits for your worst days
A habit that only works when life is calm won’t survive real seasons.
Ask:
- What does this habit look like when I’m tired?
- How does it adapt when life is full?
- Can it shrink without disappearing?
Habits that scale down survive. An example of this is that you go to the gym or go for a pilates class even when you are on holiday. Because the habits don’t stop when you are on holiday.
Habits that demand perfection don’t stick.
3. Choose habits that regulate, not stimulate
Many modern habits are built around stimulation—more intensity, more output, more optimization.
But over decades, regulation matters more than stimulation.
Habits that calm the nervous system:
- walking
- journaling
- breathing
- unhurried meals
- time without input
These are the habits that quietly support aging well.
4. Let habits evolve with you
A habit that serves you at 35 may need a different expression at 55.
That’s not failure.
That’s maturity.
Design habits with permission to evolve.
Rigidity shortens lifespan.
Adaptability extends it.
Being your own role model through repetition
Being Your Own Role Model isn’t about impressive routines.
It’s about modeling a way of living you’d be proud to age into.
When you design habits that last:
- you stop starting over
- you build self-trust
- you create continuity across decades
Your future self doesn’t need extreme discipline.
They need consistency that feels kind.
The quiet power of long-view habits
Habits that last through decades don’t look dramatic.
They look ordinary.
They look sustainable.
They look repeatable.
And over time, they shape:
- your energy
- your health
- your relationships
- your sense of self
You don’t need better habits.
You need habits that respect the fact that you are human—and aging.
Design them with yeoyu.
Practice them with patience.
Let them carry you forward.
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