Last Updated on February 28, 2026 by Michelle
Ikigai is often described as a “reason for being.”
But somewhere along the way, it became another thing to figure out, optimise, or turn into a plan.
That pressure misses the point.
Ikigai isn’t something you hustle toward.
It’s something that emerges when your life is lived in alignment.
Ikigai is not a job title or a single passion
Many people think ikigai is one thing you must discover and then build everything around.
In reality, ikigai is rarely a singular role.
It’s a relationship between:
- how you live
- what gives you energy
- how you contribute
- what feels honest over time
That relationship evolves as you do.
And that’s especially true in midlife.
Why ikigai feels different as we age
Earlier in life, purpose is often driven by necessity.
You build.
You strive.
You respond to expectations.
Later, something shifts.
You become more aware of:
- your energy limits
- what drains you
- what no longer fits
- what matters enough to keep choosing
Ikigai after 40 or 50 becomes quieter—but deeper.
It’s less about ambition and more about coherence.
Ikigai begins with self-leadership
Being your own role model means you don’t outsource meaning.
You don’t wait for permission.
You don’t copy someone else’s definition of purpose.
You don’t force clarity before you’re ready.
Instead, you lead yourself by asking better questions.
Not:
What should I do with my life?
But:
- What gives me steady energy?
- What would I want to age into?
- What feels worth my time now?
- What kind of life do I respect?
These questions create the conditions for ikigai to surface.
Energy is the most honest guide
Excitement can be misleading.
Energy is not.
Ikigai shows up where energy is:
- sustainable
- renewing
- quietly motivating
It may not feel dramatic.
It often feels right.
This matters for well aging, because a purpose that drains you eventually asks for a cost.
Ikigai that supports energy is a purpose you can live with.
Let go of the pressure to monetise meaning
One of the fastest ways to lose touch with ikigai is to rush it into productivity.
Not everything meaningful needs to become work.
Not everything valuable needs to be optimised.
Some forms of ikigai live in:
- how you show up in relationships
- how you mentor or guide
- how you create or care
- how you live as an example
Contribution doesn’t always need a transaction.
Ikigai often reveals itself through patterns
Instead of searching for answers, notice what repeats.
- Themes that return
- Conversations you’re drawn into
- Problems you feel compelled to help solve
- Ways people naturally seek you out
These patterns aren’t accidental.
They’re signals.
Ikigai often becomes clearer when you stop chasing novelty and start noticing consistency.
Yeoyu makes ikigai possible
Yeoyu—inner spaciousness—is essential.
When life is too full, purpose can’t speak.
When everything is urgent, meaning gets drowned out.
Ikigai needs:
- margin
- reflection
- patience
- permission to evolve
If your life feels quieter right now, that may not be emptiness.
It may be space.
Ikigai is not found once—it’s lived
Ikigai doesn’t arrive as a final answer.
It unfolds as you:
- make aligned choices
- let go of what no longer fits
- protect your energy
- trust your own discernment
Being your own role model means allowing purpose to mature with you—without rushing, proving, or comparing.
A BYORM definition of ikigai
Ikigai is not what makes you impressive.
It’s what makes your life livable, meaningful, and sustainable over time.
If your days feel more coherent as you follow it…
If your energy is protected rather than depleted…
If your life feels more like yourself…
Then you are already living close to your ikigai.
And that is enough to begin.
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