Last Updated on July 29, 2026 by Michelle
We Usually Build Our Future Backwards
People often ask me how I became so disciplined.
How I stayed consistent with investing.
How I managed to build 37 habits that have become part of my identity.
How I found the confidence to leave a successful corporate career after more than two decades.
The truth is, I don’t think I’ve ever been particularly disciplined.
I’ve simply been making decisions on behalf of someone who doesn’t exist yet.
My future self.
Long before I had the life I wanted, I had a reasonably clear picture of the person I wanted to become.
That picture quietly became the standard against which I made thousands of small decisions.
Every investment.
Every workout.
Every article I wrote.
Every book I picked up.
Every conversation I chose to have.
Every one of those decisions was less about who I was and more about who I was becoming.
I’ve come to realise that perhaps the future isn’t something we wait for.
Perhaps it’s something we rehearse.
Win First, Then Fight
Recently, I came across a quote from The Art of War that stayed with me:
“The victorious warrior wins first and then goes to war, while the defeated warrior goes to war first and then seeks to win.”
Although I haven’t yet read The Art of War by Sun Tzu, this idea immediately resonated with me.
It perfectly described how I’ve unknowingly approached many parts of my life.
Winning isn’t something that happens on the day of the battle.
It happens long before anyone else notices.
The battle simply reveals the preparation.
The same is true in life.
Financial freedom doesn’t begin when your investments reach a certain number.
It begins years earlier when you consistently choose to spend less than you earn. It is when you routinely and somewhat boringly continue to increase your savings rate as your income becomes higher instead of spending more in line with your income.
Good health doesn’t begin when someone compliments your fitness.
It begins every time you choose to exercise when no one is watching.
Confidence doesn’t suddenly appear before a difficult conversation.
It grows quietly every time you keep a promise to yourself.
We often celebrate visible outcomes.
But victories are almost always invisible first.
I Needed a Clear Picture Before I Could Become Her
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt is that you can’t intentionally become someone you’ve never clearly imagined.
Before I could become my own role model, I first had to decide what that role model looked like.
Not what society admired.
Not what LinkedIn rewarded.
Not what looked impressive on paper.
But what genuinely mattered to me.
Would she be healthy?
Curious?
Calm under pressure?
Financially independent?
Would she continue learning in her seventies?
Would she spend her time creating rather than consuming?
Would she wake up excited about Mondays?
These questions became surprisingly practical.
Once I knew who she was, my decisions became much easier.
The choice wasn’t between two jobs.
It was between which choice looked more like the person I wanted to become.
The choice wasn’t whether to invest this month.
It was whether my future self would thank me.
The choice wasn’t whether to go to the gym.
It was whether I wanted to become someone who looked after her body for life.
Identity made discipline easier.
One Sentence I’ll Never Forget
A few years ago, there was a period when I worried about my son.
Like many teenagers, school wasn’t always easy.
There were moments when I wondered if he was truly happy.
Like many parents, I wanted to fix everything.
But I couldn’t.
Instead, I found myself imagining a future conversation.
I pictured him as a young adult.
Confident.
Content.
Living a life that felt meaningful to him.
I remember thinking how wonderful it would be if one day he casually said something like,
“Life is great.”
Not because someone had asked him.
Not because he was trying to reassure me.
Just because that’s genuinely how he felt.
It was a picture I returned to more than once.
Then just this week,, something unexpected happened.
Out of the blue, he simply said,
“Mom, life is great.”
For a brief moment, time almost stood still.
I smiled, but inside I felt something much deeper.
It wasn’t that I had somehow made those exact words happen.
It was the realisation that I had been quietly building towards that future for years.
Not by controlling every outcome.
But by consistently trying to create an environment where confidence, resilience and optimism could grow.
That one sentence reminded me that the futures we imagine often shape the actions we take today.
And those actions quietly shape tomorrow.
This is definitely making it to my weekly gratitude post it. One new habit I started in 2026 after watching a reel by Jay Shetty ◡̈
My 2028 Didn’t Begin in 2028
People sometimes think my decision to leave corporate life in 2028 is bold.
To me, it feels remarkably ordinary.
Because I’ve been living towards it for years.
Every month I invested instead of spending.
Every spreadsheet I updated.
Every habit I built.
Every BYORM article I wrote during the weekends.
Every podcast I listened to during a walk, during my commute to/fro work.
Every quiet Saturday morning spent learning instead of scrolling.
They all belonged to the same future.
When 2028 finally arrives, it won’t be the beginning of my second life.
It will simply be the visible result of decisions made years earlier.
Just like a marathon isn’t won on race day.
It’s won on all the mornings you chose to train.
The Person You Want to Become Should Make Today’s Decisions
I think many of us ask the wrong question.
We ask,
“What should I do today?”
A better question might be,
“What would the person I want to become do today?”
The answer is often surprisingly clear.
Your future self already knows.
She reads the book.
She makes the investment.
She goes for the walk.
She apologises first.
She starts before she’s ready.
She chooses health over convenience.
She protects time over status.
She builds instead of complains.
Little by little, today’s choices stop feeling like sacrifices.
They become evidence of who you’re becoming.
Becoming Before Arriving
BYORM stands for Be Your Own Role Model.
People sometimes assume that means becoming successful enough to inspire others.
I see it differently.
Being your own role model starts long before anyone notices.
It begins when you become someone that your future self would admire.
Not because you’ve reached every goal.
But because you’ve chosen to live in alignment with the person you’re trying to become.
Perhaps that’s what winning first really means.
You don’t wait until you’ve achieved the outcome before believing in it.
You begin living as that person today.
Because the future is rarely created in one defining moment.
It is quietly built through thousands of ordinary decisions that no one applauds.
One day, those decisions become visible.
People call it success.
You simply recognise it as the life you’ve been rehearsing all along.
Leave a Reply